Developing relation
Building Bonds: The Heart of Guiding Youth at EDS
Working with children and youth at Education for Development and Sustainability (EDS) has taught us that real change begins with relationships. Many of the youth we work with come from incredibly challenging backgrounds. They’ve faced poverty, societal neglect, and often a complete lack of support and understanding. They carry with them negative beliefs about themselves and society: that they are burdens, unwanted, or doomed to fail. These young people are often recruited into gangs, used by others for personal gain, or neglected to the point of losing hope. Their experiences have hardened them, and they arrive at EDS with walls around their hearts and minds.
Our approach at EDS is rooted in compassion, patience, and consistency. Building a trusting relationship with these youth means being there for them, even when they resist. For Hafiz, Alamin, Trine, Riaz, Ibrahim, and the rest of the EDS team, guiding these young people means making them feel genuinely valued. We don’t just guide them; we walk alongside them. We listen, offer support, and create a space where they feel safe enough to share their challenges, hopes, and fears.
This relationship-building isn’t easy. The youth often resist opening up or trusting anyone; they’ve been hurt too many times. But we invite them into our lives and activities, breaking down barriers through shared experiences. We play football, cricket, and badminton together; we have movie nights, take boat trips, and arrange picnics. When they see us truly caring about their lives, it starts to break down the barriers they’ve built.
As they become more motivated to join EDS and engage positively, they often face backlash from those who once benefited from their struggles. Many bad influences, recognizing that they are losing these young individuals, attempt to dissuade them from staying at EDS. We hear from the youths that these negative voices tell them they are “wasting their time.” Some even express confusion, caught between the teachings of honesty and education we instill in them and the allure of illegal activities that their friends engage in.
When we ask them about their challenges, their responses often reveal a critical reflection: “When you guide us, we feel more motivated for a better life. But outside, we feel like we’re misusing our time. Our friends earn money illegally, and we can do the same.” This showcases their growing ability to challenge these negative influences—a sign of transformation in itself.
Some youths have left EDS, swayed by these bad influences, only to return after realizing that no one outside asks them how they are doing or offers support like we do at EDS. One young man, returning in tears, said, “I’m sorry that I left EDS; I believed in the wrong people. Nobody loves me like the people from EDS do. I can see that EDS is my last destiny.” After this realization, they resumed their involvement with renewed confidence, often requiring no further motivation to contribute positively to society. They understand what is good, what they should do, and what they should not do—all thanks to the strong relationships they have built with EDS members.
Creating a trusting bond means sacrifice. Alamin lives in Bangladesh; Hafiz and Trine who lives in Norway, stays available for these young people at all hours. There have been countless nights when calls come in at midnight from a young person who just needs to talk. Instead of brushing them off, Hafiz, Trine, Alamin listens, letting them know they’re worth his time, even when it’s inconvenient. When they see this level of commitment, they realize they’re valued, which plants the seed of trust and self-worth.
Why This Bond Matters for Change
In these safe, trusting relationships, youth learn to see their potential. They start shifting from seeing themselves as problems to realizing they have strengths and value to offer. At EDS, they take on responsibilities—to guide youths-children, lead EDS, lead projects, cooking, cleaning, organizing events (making plan, implement the plan, reflect on results, replan if needed), guiding younger children—which instills a sense of purpose and dignity. Gradually, they let go of the need to prove themselves through violence or bravado and begin to believe in their own capacity for good.
These relationships don’t just keep them off the streets; they transform them. Youth who were once gang members or involved in illegal activities now work to make EDS a better place, teaching and supporting younger kids. Their change is fueled by the trust and belonging they feel, and they, in turn, start passing that support on to others. This sense of community and shared purpose is the very definition of sustainable development—it is rooted in human connection.
Real Impacts of Trust-Based Relationships
Thanks to the strength of these bonds, EDS youth now lead by example. Some youth, who once saw themselves as incapable of positive change, now run EDS activities, guiding others with patience and respect. They value education and health, take care of the EDS space, and work to create a safe, inclusive environment. They have transformed from youth once seen as “trouble” into community leaders and mentors. Former gang members who once intimidated others now care for younger children, model respectful communication, and resolve conflicts peacefully.
At EDS, we’ve seen that when we show youth that they matter, they begin to live up to their potential. Our bonds with them become a foundation for positive change, both in their lives and in our communities. This experience has taught us that sustainable development isn’t only about resources or policies; it’s about creating relationships that empower, inspire, and uplift. For us, the journey of transforming young lives starts with the simple yet powerful act of showing we care.
T